Something cool happened last week. It’s a little complicated and also personal, so let me share the generalities. Because I was working on something that has been a “thorn in my side” for years, I was in the right place at the right time (a time I would never have been there otherwise) to be a listening ear for someone who was hurting. I doubt it was a coincidence, but more likely a gift from God, who knows what we need and uses even things that are frustrating for us to put us where we need to be. 

Later, as I thought about it some more, I felt surprised that things had fallen into place that way. Then I felt surprised that I was surprised! Isn’t that how God works? What did I expect? 

The prophet Isaiah recalled that God had done “awesome deeds that we did not expect.” (Isaiah 64:3). If we don’t expect God’s sovereign intervention, what do we expect? What do we expect from God? What do we expect from others? What do we expect from ourselves? 

William Shakespeare said “expectation is the root of all heartache.” Maybe it is, and if so, it is wrong expectation or unmet expectation that leads to heartache. If you google “quotes about expectations,” you will see both extremes – advice to set your expectations low so you won’t be disappointed and claims that there is no success without high expectations. We all have expectations – defined by the New Oxford American Dictionary as “strong beliefs that something will happen or be the case in the future.” Much of the time we don’t even think about our expectations, they are just there, created by experiences we have had and our view of ourselves and our world. And Shakespeare is definitely correct in saying that expectations can cause major distress. It is valuable to take an expectation inventory from time to time, and reset the expectations that are likely to steal our joy. 

What do you expect from God? What do you expect from others? What do you expect from yourself? 

It is pretty easy to come up with a list of things we should not expect, but when we analyze our expectations, these things often slip in or slip back in and lead to disappointment. 

We should not expect perfect people. Not one human being is perfect. We all make mistakes, and most of us make a lot of mistakes. So, not only is it not realistic to expect the people in our lives to be perfect, it is also inadvisable to expect perfection from ourselves. When we are frustrated, it might be revealing to think about what unmet and misguided expectations could be contributing to that feeling. 

Some people who have experienced harm at the hands of others begin to expect that everyone will be likely to abuse them. They build a defensive wall that says, “I’m not going to let you near me, that way you can’t hurt me.” It’s understandable for sure, but in the long run, allowing healing and taking steps toward trusting people again, while not expecting perfection from them, opens the door for more love and joy and peace. This is possible because of security in Christ’s love. “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1)

We should not expect appreciation when we give. When we are generous or show kindness or sacrifice for others, we are doing that as a service to God, knowing that He sees and that He is pleased. Often the unmet expectation of being recognized for the good we do makes us stop serving. Jesus said, “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6:1-4) And Paul says it too: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23-24) 

Here’s another one – and this one is what we should not expect tied to what we should expect. We should not expect smooth sailing in life. We should expect that there will be trouble and difficult times and sadness mixed in to the story of our lives. Jesus told us, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33). A promise from God, penned by Isaiah: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” (Isaiah 43:2) Not if you walk through disasters, but when. 

Those passages of Scripture give us something else we should expect. We should expect that in the struggles and sorrows of life, God is with us. We are not alone. 

In fact, the promises of God are all things we should expect to see as we live our days. “Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them.” (Psalm 119:140) “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ.” (2 Corinthians 1:20) It is worth hunting through the Bible to find those promises and setting them as your expectations. 

“There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary – we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!” (Romans 5:3-5 MSG) 

Here is what I expect: 

-success and failure, all with faith and courage (Philippians 1:20) 

-grace for each moment (Titus 2:12). Grace for others when they are less than perfect. Grace for myself because God has given me grace. Grace to endure the difficult times and to see God at work in and through them. 

-God to exceed my expectations – “Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21) 

God of grace, teach me to trust You. Help me to put my hope in You and Your promises and not set unrealistic expectations for myself or for others. Thanks that You never fail. Thanks for surprising me with Your love and care, for being so much greater than anything I can expect. 

-Leah

“So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 4:14-16, NLT)

For me, this is one of the most precious passages in Scripture. The truths that Jesus is a High Priest that understands my weaknesses and that I can come boldly to the throne of God for mercy and grace provide a place of safety and security for me.

There are times in our lives when we cling to passages like this one. Aaron and I faced one of those times this last week. On Wednesday afternoon, a decision was being made that would greatly impact our family, and we had absolutely no control over the outcome.

It’s not the first time we’ve faced something like that, and it probably won’t be the last. It’s in those out-of-control situations that our faith is tested. Do we really trust God? Do we believe with all our hearts that He is in control even when we aren’t? Is His Word true? Are His plans really perfect?

Let me tell you, I had to spend a lot of time last week counseling my heart according to the truth of God’s Word. I had to remind myself over and over again of what I really do believe – God is good, His ways are perfect, He is sovereign, and He sees the whole picture.

I spent most of the day Wednesday talking to God in my heart. At one point, I was reminded of this passage in Hebrews. I realized that in the process of submitting myself to God’s perfect will, I hadn’t let myself ask Him for the outcome I wanted. I thought, “Dana, it’s okay to ask.” It’s okay to ask.

“’Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him.‘” (Matthew 7:7-11, NLT)

There’s balance here of course. Our asking has to line up with God’s will, but for me, I needed to be sure that I wasn’t incorrectly labeling doubt as balance. I needed the reminder that it’s okay to tell God what my heart wants. Then, I have to trust Him with the outcome and know that if He doesn’t answer in the way I hoped for, it is because He sees the whole picture and has a bigger plan.

So, yes, I must submit to His will. But yes, I can also come boldly to the throne of grace and make my requests known. I was reminded of a story in Brennan Manning’s book The Furious Longing of God.

In the story, a Jewish grandmother is watching her grandson, Jacob, at the beach. He is playing with a pail and shovel in the sand and wearing a yellow sunhat she has purchased for him. All of a sudden, a tidal wave sweeps him out to sea, along with the pail, shovel, and hat.

Esther boldly cries out to God for intervention, and a second wave washes Jacob back to shore with his pail and shovel. Esther’s response?

“Esther Schwarz looks up at the sky and shouts, ‘He had a canary yellow hat. Where’s the hat?'”

Brennan Manning wrote, “That, my friends, is chutzpah.”

Come boldly. Come with chutzpah. The way to the throne of grace has been opened to us by our Great High Priest, and we can come with confidence. It’s okay to ask. Just in case that one story didn’t illustrate it enough, Manning shares one more –

“Years ago the professional golfer Arnold Palmer played a series of exhibition matches in Saudi Arabia. When he finished, the king was so impressed with Palmer’s expertise that he desired to give Palmer a gift. Palmer, a multimillionaire in his own right, demurred: ‘It isn’t really necessary. I just enjoyed meeting your people and playing in your country.’

The king indicated his extreme displeasure at not being able to give the golf pro a gift. Palmer wisely reconsidered and said, ‘Well, how about a golf club? A golf club would be a wonderful memento of my visit here.’ The king was pleased. The following day, a messenger delivered to Palmer’s hotel room the title to a golf club, thirty-six holes, trees, lakes, buildings. The moral of this story? In the presence of the king, don’t ask for small gifts.”

I love that. It’s not that we are demanding our way. It’s just that we understand, if only a little, the greatness of our King and His ability to act on our behalf. So we ask. With boldness. With confidence that He hears.

So, what happened on Wednesday? I asked. And I watch the hand of God answer in a way that blew my mind. I was prepared to thank Him for His goodness no matter the outcome, but I was reminded of His power and faithfulness by the way He answered. He is SO good. 🙂

“Praise the Lord!

Let all that I am praise the Lord.
I will praise the Lord as long as I live.
I will sing praises to my God with my dying breath.

Don’t put your confidence in powerful people;
    there is no help for you there.
When they breathe their last, they return to the earth,
    and all their plans die with them.
But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper,
    whose hope is in the Lord their God.

He made heaven and earth,
    the sea, and everything in them.
    He keeps every promise forever.
He gives justice to the oppressed
    and food to the hungry.
The Lord frees the prisoners.
The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord lifts up those who are weighed down.
    The Lord loves the godly.
The Lord protects the foreigners among us.
    He cares for the orphans and widows,
    but he frustrates the plans of the wicked.

The Lord will reign forever.
    He will be your God, O Jerusalem, throughout the generations.

Praise the Lord!” (Psalm 146, NLT)

Dear Father, thank You SO much for Jesus, our Great High Priest who has opened for us the way to Your throne of grace. Thank You that we are told that we can come to You with boldness to receive Your mercy and to find Your grace to help us when we need it most. You are a good Father. Thank You for hearing us when we call. Help us to remember that we can bring our requests to You knowing that You hear us and that You are able to intervene when we are in situations that we cannot control. Help us to trust You more. Amen.

-Dana

I’m sure it has happened to you, probably lots of times. You are looking all over for something, just to discover that it is already with you, right where you would expect it to be. 

Friday morning, my husband left for work and returned within a few moments, looking for his car keys. As I was coming to help him find them, he realized they were in his pocket! And less than an hour later, as we were getting ready to leave for school, Jack was looking for his shoes. Want to guess where he found them? On his feet!! Yes, it happens to me too, and it is always kind of comical. 

What causes these lost/not lost experiences? As I have thought about it for the last few days, I think the issues are two: distraction and familiarity. 

Distracted. Usually when you can’t find something common like keys or glasses or cell phone, it is at a time when you are in a hurry. Often there is a lot going on in your mind – making sure you have everything you need before you leave, thinking ahead to the next destinations and responsibilities, sometimes worrying about something that is not even part of the immediate circumstances. Our brains often don’t work well under this type of stress. The word “frantic” comes to mind. When we realize that we can’t find what we need, and we have to stop and focus and find it. 

This happens in our hearts as well. We get revved up and rolling, hurrying, putting out fires, meeting the demands of the day, and all at once we realize we are missing something we need. What happened to that peace I had this morning after my prayer time? Where is that connection to Christ that I need in order to function the way I was created to function? 

It would be nice if those inner needs were actually tangible objects that we could see are missing. You can’t drive your car without keys, but you can muddle through your day without peace. We have to remind ourselves throughout the day to stop for a bit and take stock that we have all that we need for living like Jesus. Like the keys, all we need is there, we just have to realize it and use it. 

Run back to Psalm 46. Verse 1 tells us that “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” He’s not far away. He is there. We just need to do what verse 10 tells us to do. “Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth.” And the Psalmist reminds us again in verse 11, “The Lord of hosts is with us.” 

Remember 2 Peter 1:3. “His divine power has given us everything needed for life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” We have what we need. We must remind ourselves to draw on that supply and allow it to change our days. 

Familiar. The reason you miss the fact that your keys are in your pocket or your shoes are on your feet is that you are used to having them there. It’s familiar, and you don’t even notice it. That’s why you can be looking under couch cushions or under beds, and the item of interest can be right where it always is. So obvious that it takes a minute to think to look there. 

Unfortunately, sometimes the inner needs mentioned above go unmet because of the same issue. Let me explain. 

We read that everything we need for life and godliness is given to us by God’s divine power. One of the biggest transmitters of that divine power, one of the main ways God supplies what we need is through His Word. Unfortunately, sometimes that seems too obvious, too easy, and we go hunting around, looking for something else to meet the need. It’s true. Or we do turn to God’s Word, but what we read is something we’ve read before, so we skim. We want something quick to help us, and we discount the familiar as not being relevant. 

Here’s what Moses said about the Word. 

“Surely this commandment that I am commanding you today is not too hard for you, nor is it too far away. It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will go up to heaven for us, and get it for us that we may hear it and observe it?’ Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will cross to the other side of the sea for us, and get it for us so that we may hear it and observe it?’ 

No, the word is very near to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart for you to observe.” Deuteronomy 30: 11-14 

In Romans, Paul quoted Moses when he was explaining the right living that comes through faith. Here is what he wrote (from The Message paraphrase): 

“So what exactly was Moses saying? The word that saves is right here, as near as the tongue in your mouth, as close as the heart in your chest. It’s the word of faith that welcomes God to go to work and set things right for us.” Romans 10:8-9 

What/Who we need is near, accessible, powerful. We must not overlook it/Him! 

“From one ancestor he made all nations to inhabit the whole earth, and be allotted the times of their existence and the boundaries of the places where they would live, 

So that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him – though indeed he is not far from each one of us. 

For in him we live and move and have our being…” Acts 17:26-28 

Don’t miss what is right there. Don’t keep on looking for something more exotic or more complicated. God is present. His Word is near. Look no further! You’ve found what you need. 

God, I am amazed at Your nearness. I find it hard to fathom that You have provided all that I need to live the way You ask me to live. Help me to slow down and pay attention to my heart. Help me to choose to stay near to You as I go through each day, and nudge me when I get harried and allow my heart to start scurrying. Thank You for Your Word and for its power. Thank You that it is also near, accessible, relevant, life-giving. Please teach me how to live and move and have my being in You. 

-Leah

Life with a 7 year-old is an adventure. Little people are busy and full of energy, and it can be a challenge to find things for them to do that will channel all that energy in a positive way. These are the things we are experiencing in our house these days, and I am beyond grateful.

One of the first things we bought for our little friend was a Lego set. On that very first day he was here, he and Aaron worked on putting some of it together, but it didn’t get finished. Then, last week, we had some dear friends over, and he worked more on the Legos with their little girl. More got done, but there is still more to do.

Before prayer meeting last week, I suggested that he bring the Legos to church with him as a quiet way of channeling that energy. His response? “No, I need teamwork for that.” He knew that the task was something he couldn’t complete on his own, and he would need help.

You see, this little guy LOVES teamwork. We have found that helping people brings him great joy. He helps me with the dishes and with folding laundry and then says, “We did teamwork, right?” He knows that when we work together, difficult tasks become more manageable.

I started to see the application to living the Christian life right away. So many times, I strive for independence – more of a “I can do it by myself” sort of mindset. That is not what being part of the body of Christ is all about. I need teamwork.

“He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” (Ephesians 4:16, NLT)

I love the concept of the body of Christ. Nothing screams teamwork and cohesion with every part and system working together quite like the human body. It is imperative that every organ, tissue, muscle, and nerve work together correctly in order for the body to function according to its design.

And it’s no different in the body of Christ. We NEED each other. We are not independent, and we aren’t supposed to be.

“The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, ‘I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,’ that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, ‘I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,’ would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you.’ The head can’t say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you.’

In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.” (1 Corinthians 12:12-26, NLT)

Living the Christian life is like putting that Lego set together for our little friend. It is impossible by ourselves. We need teamwork. We need God’s grace, but we also need each other. The interconnectedness we need is just the way God designed it to be. He doesn’t intend for us to walk alone, but with brothers and sisters – each one doing their part to ensure “that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:23-25, NLT)

This is just one of many of the “one anothers” in Scripture. There are way too many for one blog post, but these two are good ones to ponder for the week. Motivate one another to acts of love and good works. Encourage one another. We need teamwork.

“How wonderful and pleasant it is
    when brothers live together in harmony!
For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil
    that was poured over Aaron’s head,
    that ran down his beard
    and onto the border of his robe.
Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon
    that falls on the mountains of Zion.
And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing,
    even life everlasting.” (Psalm 133, NLT)

What a promise, right? The heading for that psalm says “a song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem.” We are pilgrims here just passing through to the New Jerusalem. When we learn how to live and walk together in harmony, the Lord pronounces His blessing (or as another version says, “there the Lord commanded His blessing”).

Let’s remember this week that we aren’t in this alone. When the challenge in front of us is insurmountable, let’s reach out to a brother or sister for help. If we see a brother or sister with an insurmountable challenge in front of them, let’s reach out and encourage them. We need teamwork!

Dear Father, thank You for your perfect design not only of our physical bodies, but also of the body of Christ. Thank You that You haven’t asked us to do this Christian life alone, but that You have surrounded us with brothers and sisters who can help carry the load. Please help us this week to remember that we need each other, and help us to walk together in harmony. Give us Your grace to do what You’ve called us to do so that the whole body can be healthy and growing and full of love. Amen.

-Dana

My oldest son is graduating from high school soon!  A little hard for me to believe, but true all the same.  There are so many “senior” things to do as part of this milestone, and one of the things that has yet to be done is senior pictures.  Yes, it’s pretty late to be checking this one off the list; some of next year’s seniors are probably well into their senior picture preparations.  Chalk it up to a mother who is a doctor during a pandemic or just to general procrastination, and don’t forget the fact that Ben is not overjoyed about the whole prospect, but whatever the reasons, here we are.  One of the big decisions – what will he wear?  Ben’s feeling about clothes shopping are similar to his sentiments about being photographed, so we opted for some online shopping.  You might say it was a bonding time – we looked and laughed and bantered and, in the end, got some things ordered.  The items have come.  Some have already been returned, but I think we are covered.  

In the midst of all this, Ohio weather postponed our appointment for the actual photo shoot.   The deadline for submitting your senior picture for the senior slideshow is May 1, so we had to come up with Plan B.  Here it is…

This is Ben, on the shore of Lake Superior, caught while spending time with friends.  No special clothes, but look at that smile!  Proof in my mind that there are more important things than what one wears.  

One of my favorite passages in the Bible speaks to the importance of what we wear, not our clothes, but how we dress our inner person.

“Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices and have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator.  In that image there is no longer Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and free; but Christ is all and in all!

As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.  Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.  Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.  And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body.  And be thankful.”  Colossians 3:9-15

I love the progression from the big change, the putting off the old me and putting on the re-created in Christ me, to the continued actions that allow for ongoing transformation, the putting on compassion and kindness and humility and meekness and patience and LOVE.  

Regarding that initial decision to let Christ give me His clothes in exchange for mine, here are some words written by the prophet Isaiah long before Jesus was born.

Here’s what I was wearing: 

“We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy cloth.  We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.”  Isaiah 64:6

And my new clothes:

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my whole being shall exult in my God; for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation, he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.”  Isaiah 61:10

Paul used the clothing imagery in his letter to the Galatians also.  “for in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.  As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” Galatians 3:26-27

Even after I have chosen to give up my filthy clothes and accept the “robe of righteousness,” there is the “what will I wear today?” decision.  A decision often made multiple times throughout the day.  Will I clothe myself with the characteristics of Jesus?  He has provided the clothes – will I wear them when I drive the kids to school and when I talk to an angry or hurting co-worker and when I have too much to do and when I am tired?  Will I allow the change my initial conversion made to be lived out in my today?   And how can I even choose those clothes?  Is it even possible?

My husband was talking about this yesterday.  He said that the key is “staying where you are supposed to be” with regard to nearness to Christ.  He said when you are there, the interactions with people tend to go the way they should.  It’s all back to staying connected to God through prayer and His Word.  Letting Him pick out the clothes for the day and making sure to turn to Him for help “getting dressed” in the morning and throughout the day.  

I want to be made beautiful by God.  Like the Proverbs 31 woman – “strength and dignity are her clothing” (Proverbs 31:25) and like the women who “let (their) adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight.” (I Peter 3:4)

God, once again I thank You for Your grace that has taken me from dirty to beautiful.  Thank You for providing me with grace upon grace as I live the days You have given me.  Remind me to wear love.  Remind me to wear compassion.  Remind me to wear kindness and humility and meekness and patience.  Thank You for providing the example and the power.  You are beautiful beyond description.

-Leah