There have been some big endings in my life lately.  Not all endings are unwelcome – think end of the school year, for example 🙂 – but they all mean change.  The more difficult endings can range from bittersweet to agonizing – from ending a job you have enjoyed to dealing with the death of your spouse. 

The same day I celebrated the ending of my oldest son’s first year of college, I was processing the end of my husband’s and good friend’s medical practice and reminiscing about all the water that has gone under that bridge.  Over the last few weeks I have also been walking beside a dear friend as she lives the last days of her life.  So many emotions!

Could I share with you some of the encouragement that has kept me steady during these days?

I loved Cati’s response to this text I sent her, “It’s kind of sad also because of all the goodbyes and just knowing things aren’t the way they used to be.”  She sent back, “Yea, it is sad.  But we were all lucky to have had the experience with each other.  It was definitely a positive influence for me.”  What a great perspective!  Gratitude for what we have gained instead of grieving what we feel we have lost.  It seems like that should be obvious, right?  But I needed that reminder.

Realize that every ending is also a beginning.  As we were drinking coffee on her porch, Katelyn shared, “I feel like I have been through so many endings and beginnings over the past few years…”  Even endings that seem final, like death, are the beginning of something new.  There aren’t endings without beginnings.  My friend, Lynda, told me how much this quote from author Lysa Terkeurst had helped her as she was managing the emotions of several endings: “It is possible for a season of sorrow and a season of celebration to coexist.” 

In fact, this was exactly what the priest said at a funeral I attended last week.  He spoke of “… the end of the present age and the beginning of what is coming.”  Because of our faith, we have confidence that what is coming is good.

Advice on dealing with suffering from the book You Can Trust God to Write Your Story:

“So first, look up.  Be strengthened by a vision of God’s Providence and purposes. 

And then … look ahead.  Find hope by holding fast to His promises.”  Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth then went on to tell the story of Andrea Smith, a perfectly healthy mother of 4 young girls who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  She had a tumor in her chest surrounding her heart and a tumor in her liver.  Her journey included 9 months of treatment – 600 hours of chemo, 4 spinal infusions to get chemo to her brain, a major surgery, and 24 rounds of radiation.  Her husband sent out email updates to friends and family, and regardless of the news he was sharing, he ended each with “The best is yet to come.”  As believers in Jesus, that is always true for us – the best is yet to come!

No matter what endings we face, no matter the grieving and sorrow that interlaces our gratitude and celebration, we have the promise that God is making all things new.

“I am the Lord, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King.

Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters,

Who brings out chariot and horse, army and warrior; they lie down, they cannot rise, they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:

Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old.

I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the desert. 

The wild animals will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches; for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people,

The people whom I formed for myself so that they might declare my praise.”  Isaiah 43:15-21

John writes in Revelation 21:1-5,

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.

And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘See, the home of God is among mortals.  He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them;

He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.’

And the one who was seated on the throne said, ‘See, I am making all things new.’  Also he said, ‘Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.’ “

Sing with me…

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, all fear is gone

Because I know He holds the future

Life is worth the living just because He lives

God, thanks that You do not leave us alone in our endings or in our beginnings.  Thanks that You are writing our stories.  Fill us with gratitude and joy and hope.

-Leah

Lessons from NYC part 2

Last summer the Ebenezer youth group spent a week in New York City. A team of 30 went to the Big Apple to serve and connect with each other and with people who could loosely be considered from another culture. I was privileged to be on this team. Here are a few more of the lessons learned..

 We aren’t any different from them

I heard it from several of the teenagers, sharing at debriefing sessions during our New York City evenings.  Wes told of his surprise to find he could easily identify with the homeless people he met.  Different life experiences to be sure, but at the root, just people, made in God’s image, imperfect but longing for perfection.  No matter where we live, we are all homeless unless we accept the invitation into God’s home and His family.  Reese explained his initial thoughts about going to New York City to give some gifts and some love to people on the streets:  “I didn’t want to go.  I had no desire to do that, but I felt like I should, so I went.”  Reese was not alone in his discovery that he could and did benefit from the going and the giving.  He encountered people with names and stories, people who feel left out and forgotten. 

We all need Jesus. 

“All we like sheep have gone astray…

“For all have sinned…

“There is no Jew or Greek, slave or free…

Yes, homelessness is a problem.  But more than that, homelessness is people.  People like me.  People like Wes and Reese.  People who need rescue from addiction and mental illness and other circumstances.  People who need Jesus. 

The voice of experience

It happened more than once during the week.  Homeless people in the park, giving advice to the young people from Ohio.  Honestly, it was unexpected.  We often didn’t know what we should expect when we approached people on park benches and offered a bag filled with hygiene products, granola bars, and a Life Book.  We were afraid of being offensive, of overstepping or assuming.  We wanted to help, but weren’t sure how to communicate that desire effectively.  And over and over again, we found the tables turned.  We went from helping to being helped.  Addicts and former addicts counseled our kids on the importance of steering clear of drugs.  This message carried a bit more punch coming from someone who feels the effects of addiction day after day after day.  The images are likely to remain imprinted on those youth – they saw the shooting up and the syringes, and they heard the advice from the addicted. 

Lisa, a woman who had assumed a mother role in the homeless community in Tompkins Square Park, comforted one of our young ladies.  “Don’t cry.  We want you to know what’s going on here.  We want you to go home and tell other people and send other people to help.”

There is no doubt that kids who were on the New York service trip will find themselves faced with opportunities for drug use.  I believe they will recall the sights of the faces and the sounds of the voices of people who regret having traveled that road.  May each one of them ‘just say no,” and may they encourage their friends to do the same.

Community matters

It stinks to be homeless.  Literally.  But what’s worse than being homeless?  Being homeless and alone.  Not only did we take the time to sit and speak with men and women who were sitting on a bench alone, but also we got a look into homelessness in community.  Tompkins Square Park had an area where there was a camp of sorts.  People had staked off their own spaces, covered with tarps or marked by some other division.  Definitely a fluid group, and certainly not without challenges, but clearly a community.

Lisa, the mother figure mentioned earlier, was the keeper of the Narcan.  She told our team that she always tried to keep several doses of Narcan on hand, and that she intervened in overdoses several times each week. 

People shared food and watched out for each other.  Like a family they realized when another of their group was frustrated or angry and needed to be left alone.  They needed each other.  

We were made for community.  We aren’t made to walk our road of life alone.  We need people that know us and are willing to reach out when we are in danger.  We need to have that sense of purpose that comes from helping others when they are in over their heads.  We live best when we live connected to people who love God and love others. 

 Not drama, trauma

When a group of high schoolers spends a week together, there inevitably will be drama.  You can count on it.  We had some drama during our New York minutes – conflict over what is funny and what isn’t, hurt feelings, and some deep emotions that surfaced.  What I learned as I observed the ups and downs of the group, is that I need to look beyond the behavior and the words to what is causing that behavior and those words.  It’s easy to write things off as “teenager drama,” and shrug your shoulders and hope it all works itself out.  When you reframe the “drama” as an expression of “trauma,” you feel compelled to reach out, give grace and show love, and allow yourself to be present in the painful and the awkward. 

This is pertinent for life even when you aren’t on a service trip with teenagers.  When you feel frustrated, annoyed, or even angry by someone’s actions or attitude, realize that there is likely some trauma at the root of what you are experiencing.  You might even reach out, give grace and show love, and allow yourself to pursue connection instead of walking away.

Taste and see

“O taste and see that the Lord is good; happy are those who take refuge in him.” 

Words written by David, Psalm 34.  Words that we heard repeated during our time in New York – maybe an apt summary of all that we took away from the trip. 

Jim Cymbala spoke specifically to our youth when we visited Brooklyn Tabernacle, encouraging them to “taste and see” what God has for them.  Not sure?  Try it – you might like it!  [The taste and see principle didn’t always have a positive outcome when speaking of actual food – ask Isaac how he liked the bowl full of snails he got in Chinatown, or Andrea what she thought of the eggplant dish she tasted and saw.]

But unlike unfamiliar food, when you “taste” Jesus, you will find that He is good. 

One of our groups heard this again when leaving the food pantry where they had served for a week.  One of the workers followed them out and stood at the door, giving them a blessing and telling them to “taste and see” that God is good. 

How about you?  Have you tasted the “Bread of Life”?  You should.  You won’t be disappointed – I’m sure of it.  And if you have tasted already, keep on tasting and tasting.  You will be happy as you take refuge in Him. 

God, thank You for the amazing opportunity to serve You in New York City, with adults and young people who encouraged and inspired me.  Thanks for teaching us so much.  Help us to remember what we experienced and what we learned.  Use it to make us more like Jesus.  You are good!

-Leah

A week or so ago, I sent a text checking on someone who is walking through an extremely difficult situation.  Here was his reply:

“Unmitigated disaster here.  But have hope!”

Wow!  I wasn’t sure how to respond.  I hate that there are unmitigated disasters, but the fact that he had hope in the midst of one was an answer to the many prayers I had been praying.  I have been thinking about his text ever since…

Read Lamentations 3:16-26. 

“He has made my teeth grind on gravel, and made me cower in ashes;

My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is;

So I say, ‘Gone is my glory, and all that I had hoped for from the Lord.’

The thought of my affliction and my homelessness is wormwood and gall!

My soul continually thinks of it and is bowed down within me.”

Stop for a moment – this is definitely a description of a disaster, right?  And like the author, when we are in a mess, don’t we “continually think of it?”  And aren’t our souls “bowed down within” us? 

But, there’s more:

“But,”

A little bridge word there.  It was in that text message too.  But what? 

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; [or here is the same verse in the NIV: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.”]

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

The response I received – “Unmitigated disaster here.  But have hope!” – was basically a summary of this passage in Lamentations.  However, the presence of hope is really a belief that the disaster is not unmitigated.  We are not consumed.  God is in control and He has a good plan. 

The prophet Isaiah was to spread this hope and to prophesy of Jesus who would usher it in.  Isaiah 61:1-3 “The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to provide for those who mourn in Zion – to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, to display his glory.”

There are all kinds of disasters.  Global and personal, natural and man-made, catastrophic and just annoying.  And in the middle of the disasters Isaiah mentions – oppression; grief and broken-heartedness; captivity, including addiction; and imprisonment – and really any kind of disaster imaginable, there is good news and healing and freedom, and those are possible and present because of Jesus.  After Jesus read this same passage from Isaiah, “he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down.  The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him.  He began by saying to them, ‘Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.’” Luke 4:20-21

The International Red Cross and Red Crescent defines disaster this way: “Disasters are serious disruptions to the functioning of a community that exceed its capacity to cope using its own resources.”

If you are experiencing disruption that is beyond your capacity to cope using your own resources, there is still hope.  Thankfully, it’s not all about your own resources.

Lamentations told us that because of God’s mercies we are not consumed.  Isaiah takes it a step farther.  God actually transforms disasters into good. 

In your disaster, you can trust God to give “a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit.”

“And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Have hope.

Pray with me, using the words of Scotty Smith from his book Every Season Prayers: Gospel-Centered Prayers for the Whole of Life,

Grant us fresh grace to wait upon you

for the future and hope to which you have called us…

Turn our whines into worship,

our daily carping into carpe diem,

and our frets into faith.

Amen.

-Leah

I have been wondering if I would ever blog again.  It has been months since my last post, months of turmoil and turbulence.  I have been weary.  You have too, I know it.  This time of our lives is exacting a cost most of us have never paid before.  For a while, I could not find/make the time to write.  And then, when I could see some light in my schedule, I felt that I had nothing valuable to say.  There are plenty of people with plenty of insights – I don’t want to distract from them.  What makes me think I have a unique message or the qualification to share it? 

Today is January 1.  New Year’s Day.  A fresh start.  Special, and then again, not so special.

With our Father, every day is New Year’s Day.  “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23  And don’t stop there – read verse 24!  “’The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’”

Today I was nearing the end of the book, Your Victory in Jesus, by D.L. Moody.  I started it last summer and picked it up again last week.  Today I read the chapter entitled “Rest.”  His text was Matthew 11:28-30.  “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  As I read these familiar words of Jesus and pondered Moody’s thoughts on them, I found my soul leaping up in hope.  Come.  Rest.  I heard the message that I need for today and for this new year!  And guess what!  I wanted that hope and encouragement for you, too.  No, I’m nothing much and I don’t have my act together enough to expound to others, but… Jesus.  His Words are life and hope and truth.  They compel one to share. 

Come.  An invitation to get close.  Jesus says we should come to Him.  All of us who are weary and carrying heavy burdens.  He wants us to be near Him, and that’s where we were made to be.  Come for the first time, come for the thousandth time, come walking, come running, come crying, come hanging your head or clapping your hands.  Come. 

Jesus himself said, “Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.”  John 6:37. 

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”  James 4:8

Jesus said essentially to come and stay, or to keep coming back – to abide.  “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.  If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.  I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.”  John 15:9-11.

And the writer of Hebrews tells us how to come: “And without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever would approach him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”  Hebrews 11:6

Believe.  Have faith.  Come.  And get the reward He offers – rest.

Come and rest. 

St. Augustine rightly said, “Thou hast made us for Thyself, O God, and our heart is restless until it rests in Thee.” 

Read this passage from Isaiah that reminds us that we have the answer to what we need, and that we often ignore that and keep running around DIY-ing it. 

“Oh, rebellious children, says the Lord, who carry out a plan, but not mine; … For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:

In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength.

But you refused and said, ‘No! We will flee upon horses’- therefore you shall flee! and, ‘We will ride upon swift steeds’ – therefore your pursuers shall be swift!  A thousand shall flee at the threat of one, at the threat of five you shall flee, until you are left like a flagstaff on the top of a mountain, like a signal on a hill.

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show mercy to you.  For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. 

Truly, O people in Zion, inhabitants of Jerusalem, you shall weep no more.  He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when he hears it, he will answer you.”  Isaiah 30:1, 15-19

It’s 2022.  Come to Jesus.  He has rest to give you.  You can’t find that rest anywhere else, so stop running around like a crazy person and take Him up on His offer.  Join His work and learn from Him – you will find rest for your soul.  Come.  Rest. 

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

Jesus, I come.  I come believing that You mean what You promised – You can give me rest.  I need Your rest!  I am tired and often cranky, frustrated and sad.  My heart is restless, let me rest in You.  Thank You for Your unfailing love and Your “new-every-morning” mercies.  Thank you for 2022. 

-Leah

So much joy and delight for toddlers when an adult blows bubbles for them! They are fascinated by these shimmering orbs that seem to come out of nowhere and float around them. They chase them and pop them and watch them rise into the air and waft away. I’ve never noticed any sadness when they burst or disappear; there seems to be an endless supply available. No need to hold onto one bubble; another is quickly coming. 

As adults, we hold much more tightly to our bubbles. We have had lots of experience with beautiful situations arising, and we have seen them burst or disappear. No joy and celebrating from us when that happens! It is not our default to realize that more bubbles will be coming and look back to the Bubble-blower expectantly, ready for the new beauty He is sending. 

Obviously, the analogy isn’t perfect, but you get it. I was recently at a virtual women’s conference, and the first speaker was introducing the theme for the weekend – being grounded, regardless of the circumstances. I jotted down this phrase as she spoke: “your little bubble – POPPED.” Can I stay grounded when the bubble bursts? Can I trust that God is writing the story and that His plan is not just good, but perfect? Can I stop trying to hold onto control and focus on what I need to do today, right now, remaining mentally and emotionally stable? 

It is a bit frustrating to me that I seem to still be learning to live grounded. I feel that I should be an expert by now – I certainly have had lots of bubbles popped in my life, some big ones and many small ones, and I have experienced God’s faithfulness every. single. time. 

At present, my husband and I and some dear friends are dealing with a different situation than any we have walked through before. Honestly, we have been struggling to stay grounded, at least I have. We have been through so many negative emotions – anger, hurt, frustration, worry, indecision. We see the bubble bursting, and it seems to be our role to change the trajectory and get it back together, not just for ourselves, but for others affected by the negative changes. We are used to “calling the shots,” and we aren’t clear that we can do that in this situation. And we come to this already emotionally exhausted from dealing with a divisive pandemic. 

As shouldn’t be surprising in light of God’s providence, I am reading a book called, You Can Trust God to Write Your Story, by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Robert Wolgemuth. I received the book at least a year ago as a gift, and have picked it up from time to time over the last year but only recently decided to commit to reading the whole thing. This morning, I decided to read a bit before I started my day of trying to get my professional and domestic head above water. The chapter I was starting is called, “You Can Trust God When You’re Pressed Financially.” I considered skipping it, thankful that at this time I am not pressed financially. I’m so glad I didn’t skip it! It contained the story of a man who had walked through the loss of his business. 

“I didn’t want to trust God in that moment. I didn’t want to believe that He knew what was best. What I wanted was pity – and perhaps even revenge. We hadn’t managed our business perfectly, but we didn’t deserve this. … After that we spent a long time together, trying to figure out how to respond. At first there was anger. Then disbelief. Then resignation. And finally, through tears, we dared to trust God – to believe that He was writing a story. At the time, of course, we could not understand why the plot was unfolding this way. But although we could not imagine how it would all end, we knew ultimately it would be good – because God is good and all His ways are good. … The whole experience was incredibly humbling. Self-doubt and fear sometimes wrapped themselves around me like a soaking wet blanket. But in the midst of it all, we saw God provide for us and our staff in some remarkable ways.” 

This. Ours are not the same circumstances, but the feelings are spot on. And not the same circumstances, but the same God. The One who never fails. We too can trust Him to write our story. 

I have been captured recently by the phrase “unfailing (or steadfast) love,” found often in the Psalms. It is an English translation of the Hebrew word “hesed,” which speaks of God’s covenant love to His people, His faithfulness, the you-can-always-count-on-it kindness of our Father. 

“For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.” Psalm 100:5 NRSV 

“For you, o Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call on you.” Psalm 86:5 NRSV 

“Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.” Psalm 36:5 NRSV 

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the works of your hands.” Psalm 138:8 NRSV 

“May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.” Psalm 119:76 NIV 

“’Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10 NIV 

May I paraphrase that last verse? “’Though your bubble seems like it is popping and even if it does pop, My love for you will not fail or end. I am steadier and stronger than anything you have experienced,’ says the Lord who understands and cares about your struggle.” 

You can trust God to write your story. 

God of unfailing love, I trust You. Teach me to walk through my days in that trust, focusing on living with love and integrity and leaving the outcomes to You. Let me see all the difficulty and frustration around me as darkness that makes the light of Jesus shine brighter. 

-Leah