Self-Talk

What do you think?  Is talking to yourself a sign of craziness?  Genius?  Maybe both?  I saw a T shirt once that said “Of course I talk to myself – sometimes I need expert advice.”  One of my favorite Bible teachers, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, advises believers in Jesus to “remind yourself what you know is true” or put another way “counsel yourself according to the truth.”  Taking the time to reflect and have an internal dialogue is healthy, especially when it leads us back to a foundation of trust in God.

Ask the Questions

David, the psalmist and shepherd and king and man after God’s own heart, records some of his self-talk in the Psalms. 

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disquieted within me?” are questions repeated 3 times in Psalm 42 and 43. 

Feeling downcast and unsettled is common to all of us.  What isn’t so common is allowing ourselves to pause and identify how we are feeling and ponder what is at the root of our troubled state.  Often we push through, hoping things will just get better.  It seems that we have so much on our plates that we can’t afford to spend the time or the energy to evaluate the status of our hearts.  Denial, determination, whatever the reason, we squelch our emotions, fingers crossed that the internal storm will subside. 

Intuitively we know that it is preferable to look inside, call out the feelings and search out the causes, especially if there is a way to regain firm mental footing and a better perspective.  Then why is it so difficult to put this into practice?

If I stop and ask how my soul is right now, I find that I am feeling tired and sad and carrying a sense of heaviness in my chest.  Why?  Without thinking about it too long, I can sum it up in one word – worry.  Family health issues, work demands, my inability to meet my self-made expectations – nothing excessively shocking or unique – but enough that I am, like David, downcast and disquieted. 

What next?

OK, status check complete.  I wouldn’t recommend stopping there, and thankfully David didn’t.   After asking himself some questions, he gave himself some instructions.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disquieted within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”  Psalm 42:5,11; 43:5

Put your hope in God.  Stop looking to your own strength and ability, stop hoping for chance improvement in circumstances, stop wishing the troubles away.  Hope in God. 

Said another way: “I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”  Psalm 121:1-2

Lift your eyes to God.  He is good, and he is powerful, and you can trust him.  Leaving things in God’s hands takes practice and trust, but even baby steps of surrender produce a sense of hope. 

There is hope.  There is hope because of God.  We should speak this truth to ourselves.

Hope Brings Rest

Another instance of self-talk is found in Psalm 62:5-6: “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.  Truly he is my rock and my salvation; my fortress, I will not be shaken.”

And similarly, Psalm 116:7: “Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.”

Once the condition of our heart is identified, we can recall where true hope is found.  Focusing our attention on God and allowing his hope to fill us, brings us inner quiet and rest. 

Again, we see the example of instructing ourselves to find the rest, to return to the rest.  The implication is that this is a work in progress, that there will be need for repetition.  We can recall and list the truths we know about our Father – he is good, he does good, he is a rock, he is strong, he saves, he protects.  He provides hope, and because of that hope, our souls can settle down in peace. 

Overflowing with Praise

The Psalms give us yet another example of what we should tell ourselves. 

“Bless the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, bless his holy name.  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” Psalm 103:1-2

“Praise the Lord, my soul,” is repeated in Psalm 104:1 and 104:45, as well as Psalm 146:1. 

Thanking God might seem like a natural progression after pondering his goodness and receiving his hope and experiencing his rest, but it appears that we need to remind ourselves to do it.  We must tell ourselves not to forget “all his benefits,” and then we must mentally rehearse them.  We should not stop with reminding ourselves; we would do well to share the evidences of God’s goodness in our lives with others. 

Introspection and reflection, re-focusing, choosing peace, expressing gratitude. 

I’m practicing all this myself today – don’t be surprised if you see me talking to myself.  Or maybe you will hear me singing…

“All my life you have been faithful

And all my life you have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God*”

-Leah

*Goodness of God, song by Bethel Music and Jenn Johnson

God’s Comfort

Kay crossed the hospital lobby, knitting basket over one arm and carrying a vase with bright yellow daffodils.   I looked up, caught her eye, and smiled.

“I thought it was you!” she exclaimed.  “I could tell before I even saw your face, just by the way you were sitting.”

This chance encounter was an anomaly.  Blessed with unclaimed time before a meeting, I had chosen to sit in this spot with the sun shining through a wall made of windows, surrounded by soothing piano music, with my notebook and pen in hand, to soak in the quiet time.

She only stopped for a moment, explaining that she was on her way to be with her husband, who was hospitalized with a bladder issue.  

“It was good to see you,” I offered as she was leaving.  

“I’m glad I saw you!” Kay replied with obvious sincerity.  “It was such a …”  She hesitated, looking for the word she wanted.  “A comfort.” 

A brief encounter with me, a comfort?  The thought took me by surprise.   I truly had done nothing but ask about the reason for her visit and smile.  

Your Consolations Cheer My Soul

Kay’s words took my mind back to the subject of God’s comfort.  Only thirty minutes before, I had been pondering this verse:

“When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul” (Psalm 94:19 ESV). 

Had Kay just experienced God’s consolation – his comfort?

I have no doubt that God provides comfort.  That very knowledge cheers my soul.  God sees when the cares of our hearts are many, and in various ways, he reveals his presence and his love.  Sometimes his presence comes through seeing a friendly face or through hearing a meaningful song.  Sometimes his love comes through an unexpected text message or through the beauty of nature. The avenues for demonstrating his comfort are as endless as God’s care for us.

Years ago, I was driving down our driveway, thinking of a neighbor with a life-threatening illness and praying the promise from Isaiah 40:31 ESV: “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  A movement caught my eye, and I looked up to see what appeared to be an eagle flying across the adjacent field.  Never having seen an eagle in that area before, I was doubtful, suspecting that it was another type of large bird and that my mind was playing tricks on me.  But as I watched it intently as it flew until it was too far away to see, I ultimately became convinced that this was truly an eagle-sighting and that it was not a coincidence, but a message of comfort from the God who heard my prayer.

God’s Word and His Spirit

The Bible makes it clear that the ultimate source of comfort is God’s Word.  Psalm 119 emphasizes this repeatedly:

“This is my comfort in my distress, that your promise gives me life.” (Psalm 119:50)

“When I think of your ordinances from of old, I take comfort, O Lord.” (Psalm 119:52)

“Let your steadfast love become my comfort according to your promise to your servant.” (Psalm 119:76)

“If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my misery.” (Psalm 119:92)

Promises, ordinances, law—all these are synonyms for the Word of God, the Bible.  The comfort of God’s Word is relayed to our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus referred to as Helper, Advocate, or Comforter, depending on the specific translation (see John 14:16).  The Holy Spirit opens our eyes and our hearts to the treasures of God’s compassion for us recorded in the Bible.

The Many Cares of Our Hearts

The need for comfort seems unending; there is no shortage of burdens for our hearts to carry.  There are global cares, including wars, suffering, injustice, and myriad other pains.  We deal with personal cares such as health issues, financial needs, and relationship struggles in our own lives and in the lives of people close to us. Whether global or personal, we are constantly bombarded by worries and anxieties that weigh heavily on our hearts and our minds—and may even cause us physical pain.  

The Bible says that such worries can distract us from what is most important—time with Jesus, sitting at his feet, and absorbing his Word (see Mark 4:18-19 and Luke 10:41-42).  But how can we help but care?  Can we ignore suffering? Should we?

Humility and Trust

As we learn more of God’s power and love and experience him in our lives, we can grow in confidence that he calls us to always be “casting our cares on him.” (I Peter 5:6-7).  No, we cannot ignore the suffering in our lives, and the Lord does not ask us to. Instead, we can humbly accept that we must depend on him to take care of the situations that sadden us and cause us anxiety. Still, it often takes a conscious effort to lay down our cares and to trust God to carry them.  

This is the picture painted in Psalm 131 (ESV):

“My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.  But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.  Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.”

Patterned after Psalm 131, this could be a helpful prayer for us to pray when we are feeling weighed down by our worries and cares:

Lord, I know I am not able to solve these problems or heal these hurts that are filling my heart and my mind.  Even the smallest of these worries are too big for me to resolve.  But nothing is too difficult for you!  I believe that, so I hand each of my cares over to you.  Because I trust you, I choose to receive your consolations and allow my heart to be cheered.  I will sit with you, content to be near you.  You are my hope for today and for the future.

-Leah

GPS

“Nah, I don’t need to use the GPS today,” I told myself as I motored through the chilly November morning on my way to work.  For background, I had changed jobs 6 months before, and my new place of employment was a 30+ minute commute, most of which took place on a 4-lane interstate highway.  I knew the way well by now, but sometimes the smartphone map feature is helpful for traffic alerts, including the word to the wise – “speed check ahead.”  These thoughts slipped briefly through my consciousness, overturned by “I don’t want to be so dependent on electronics that I can’t do things on my own.”  So I left my phone on the passenger seat and moved on to other thoughts as I moved in and out of lanes in a kind of awkward dance with the vehicles around me. 

As I neared the office, running a few minutes behind schedule, the “Road Closed Ahead” sign made me groan.  I didn’t even bother trying to figure out my own detour – I picked up my phone, entered the destination, and let the electronic voice tell me which way to go, all the time thinking that I might have avoided the delay had I been using the map from the start.

No big deal.  My arrival time was adequate, and the inability to follow my normal route to work was inconsequential. 

As I waited at a stop sign on that last leg of my drive and thought about the pros and cons of relying on GPS, a verse of Scripture came to mind: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.” I John 4:16a.

God loves me (and all of humanity – see John 3:16), and he provides direction for me, through his word, the Bible, and through his Spirit. 

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”  Psalm 119:105

“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.” Romans 8:14

Don’t get me wrong – God has not provided some cosmic system to get me where I want to go.  God leads me to the destination he has chosen, a destination and a route that are both way beyond my understanding.  Unlike driving to work, which I can accomplish without the help of the smart phone, I can’t successfully navigate life on my own.  But how many moments, hours, days, do I follow my own sense of direction?  Why don’t I make it my routine to stay connected to God, reading his word and listening to his Spirit?  Why don’t I rely on his love?  That would surely cut down on my frustration and help me avoid unnecessary roadblocks.  I could travel in peace, knowing that my paths are in his hands.  And guess what!  I could even let him drive!  (Jesus, take the wheel!)

“Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.  Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.” Psalm 25:4-5

Puzzle Piece

“Come play with me!”  You can imagine the delight I felt at the invitation from my sweet little niece, Mia.  4 years old and quite engaging, she grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the immense collection of toys beside the dining room table.  “You be the kitty, and I’ll be the lion,” she instructed, handing me a cat figurine that was about the size of a miniature candy bar.  We played for a bit – the lion ambushed the kitty, the kitty hid from the lion, the kitty and the lion went to the grocery together – the fun seemed limitless. 

OK, that is somewhat exaggerated.  While Mia was content to use her active imagination to invent kitty and lion scenarios, my mind wandered.  I have found that, as an adult, it is difficult for me to play.  I spend my days with a plan and an agenda, carefully trying to match the to-do list to the available moments, and when it comes to sitting still and pretending, I am ashamed to say that I struggle to quiet my thoughts and be present.  But, I strongly desired to spend the time with little Mia, building connection and enjoying her smiles and her precocious comments.  To combat that restlessness I felt, I looked for something to occupy me while I continued to play.  There was a set of cloth bins arranged in a stand, a storage place for the myriad of playthings.  There were Legos and Paw Patrol figures and toy cupcakes, letter magnets and doll accessories and tools for shaping Play-doh.  Having three sons myself, I am aware of how impossible it seems to keep the little sets of toys together and organized.  As the kitty had more adventures, I emptied the bins and set to sorting all the items.  I put Legos in one bin, animal figures in another, and little people in a third.  I even had a bin just for items that didn’t belong in my categories but that I knew belonged with a toy that wasn’t present in that part of the room.  By the time Mia was ready to move on to something else, I felt quite accomplished. 

Later, picking up toys before my sister came home (I was babysitting), I found a puzzle piece.  I placed it on the top of the shelf that held the bins.  I even remember wondering to myself why I didn’t just put it in with the things that belonged elsewhere – it would’ve taken only a second – but I left it alone, sitting beside a stack of papers.

The next day, I was back at my own home when my sister called, excited.  “Can I tell you something cool?”

“Please do!” I answered, smiling. 

“It’s kind of long,” she qualified.  “I was to teach Sunday school this morning, and I had planned to explain how God makes things work together, how He takes the many details of our lives and puts them into order to make something good.  Like a puzzle – He puts the pieces in place and forms a picture.  I had the puzzle picked out, but it was missing a piece.  I knew the object lesson would not work very well without all the puzzle pieces, and I had planned to hunt for it before we left for church.  Well, you know Sunday mornings, right?  It was a typical rushing-around, getting-kids-ready, feeling-frustrated countdown until the time we needed to be in the car to go.  As I grabbed the Sunday school bag, I remembered that I hadn’t found that piece.  It made me grouchy.  I felt like a failure, to be honest.  Why were the toys so unorganized?  Why didn’t I have things running more smoothly?  I have good intentions, but, well, you get it.  You won’t believe this!  I looked over and that puzzle piece was sitting on the shelf with the bins in it!!  I almost cried.  Amazing!  God gave me the missing puzzle piece, and what’s more, the children seemed to understand when I showed them what God does, how He puts us together the way He made us to fit!”

I had been nodding and answering “yes” and “uh-huh” as she spoke, waiting to get a word in.  “That is priceless!  He knew what you needed, and He supplied.  He is awesome!”  I shared with her the back story of how the piece had come to be there, stunned at how the circumstances had worked out, themselves an example of God’s design. 

God cares.  He is involved.  He cares that children hear and understand how He loves them and that He is active in the world and in their lives.  He cares that mothers know that He sees them, that He loves them, that they are not failures, and that He will help them with the holy work of raising children. 

Friend, God cares about you and me.  He gave us this story and so many more, so we would grow in our vision of Him.  When the pieces of your life seem scrambled up, when some of them seem to be missing, when you feel rushed and frustrated and worried, stop.  Take a breath.  Remember the story of the puzzle piece.  He’s got you.  You aren’t required to do this thing called life all by yourself.  Trust Him. 

God, You never cease to amaze me.  Thank You for being a God that is involved in the big and the small parts of our lives.  Open our eyes to see You at work.  Teach us to trust Your love and Your power.  We give all our pieces to You – please put us together and make a picture that reflects Your beauty.

-Leah

People before Projects

“People before projects.”

I first remember hearing Pastor Jim use this phrase after he returned from a trip to France.  The purpose of the trip was to assist and encourage the local church, and that involved performing several jobs, but Pastor Jim did not want the team to put getting work done ahead of building relationships. He frequently reminded his fellow travelers, “People before projects.” You should know that Pastor Jim is a highly motivated individual.  He has the nickname, “Train,” which originated during his own high school football days, stuck during his days coaching high school football, and persisted as he worked with teenagers through Youth for Christ.  That moniker followed him when he was pastoring. He was and is known for pushing through like a freight train!  I also remember him preaching about enthusiasm– “Enthusiasm is the engine that powers the train called ‘effort.’”  Pastor Jim is far from lazy; his “people before projects” philosophy surely isn’t an attempt to get out of carrying his part of any workload.

I am a very goal-focused, task-oriented individual.  I like to know what needs to be done, and I am quick to work on a plan for completing the jobs at hand.  Once the plan is made, I do not want to be distracted from reaching the finish line!  This drivenness has surely been a positive factor in completing medical school and working as a family physician, but like any good thing, it can be carried too far.   

Although I truly care about people, and although the things I get busy doing are intended to be helpful to others, sometimes they limit my ability to connect with the folks I am working with or working for.  People matter.  Relationships matter more than accomplishments.  

The priority of connecting and community is woven all through the Bible.  Take, for example, all the “one anothers” – advice, instructions about how to treat the people in your home and work and church and sphere of influence.  There are 59-ish such phrases.  Here is a sample:

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

“…serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13

“ Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” I Thessalonians 5:11

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” Philippians 2:3

If repetition implies importance, then the “one another” above all the others is “Love one another.”  This phrase is used directly at least 11 times in the Bible, and loving others is spoken of in other terms many more times than that.  Jesus Himself told us to “love one another” 5 times.

John 13:34 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
John 13:35 “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
John 15:12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
John 15:17 “These things I command you, that you love one another.

Loving one another is active and involved.  “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” I John 3:18.

I do not want to be the person who misses the needs of others because I am so busy completing my “to do” list and too focused on my own agenda.  I want to be approachable and willing to listen; not distracted, but present, hearing with my mind and heart and not just with my ears.  I want to be hospitable; that is “friendly and welcoming to strangers or guests.”  As my mother used to say, I want to be “warm and accepting.”  

As important as this is with strangers and guests, it is vital with the people living right in my home.  I have a particular responsibility to love them, forgive them, serve them, pray for them, encourage them, and follow all the “one another” instructions with them as my object.  

As I shared earlier, this does not come naturally for me.  I need to remind myself, and I need others to remind me.  Let’s remind one another!  People before projects.

God, You give the ultimate example of loving people.  Thank You for loving me and for nudging me when I get so tied up in “doing” that I miss the chances to connect with the people You have placed in my life. Forgive me for the times I put projects ahead of people, and transform my heart so that I value others above myself and my agenda.  

-Leah