This week, many people will celebrate love. For years, I struggled with Valentine’s Day because it represented everything I thought I didn’t have as a single person. When you have an acute sense of loneliness, about the last thing you want to see everywhere around you is this focus on couples and relationships. If you’re single like I was for so many years, maybe Valentine’s Day is something you just hope will be over soon. Having walked that road, my prayer for all of you who are single is that you will know that you are SO loved by the One Who created you and knows the plans He has for you.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'” (Jeremiah 29:11, NLT)

I was 39, and I had been through questions, heartache, loss, and years of unanswered prayer when I met a guy on eHarmony in 2014. After exchanging the required communication through the website and moving into open communication, we decided to meet in person. It wasn’t love at first sight. It was a pretty typical and somewhat awkward first meeting (I would call it a date, but he doesn’t). We continued to communicate and met up several times after that to hang out and get to know each other better. He worked at T. Marzetti in Columbus, and I was an instructional coach in Lima. He wanted to be a pastor, and I wanted to continue my work with inner-city youth. Our church experiences were different, and we didn’t agree on some things. In December of 2014, he decided that our differences were too much of an obstacle, and we parted ways. 

In the meantime, I had been communicating with a guy in Ft. Wayne. He was funny, smart, and a talented musician. We would talk for hours on the phone. He made me laugh, and he loved Jesus. He was who I thought I was looking for. We talked about meeting in person, but his work schedule was a little crazy, and it just never seemed to work out. One day in a text conversation, he mentioned that he wasn’t feeling well. A couple of days later, I realized that I hadn’t heard from him. He hadn’t responded to my texts, which was very strange. I’m not sure what made me do it, but I entered his name in a Google search. Shock took over as I realized that I was looking at a link to his online obituary. He had died from a massive heart attack. In May 2015, I found myself at his funeral. It was the first time I had seen him in person, and he was gone. My heart was broken, and I was devastated.

Words With Friends. You know, that Scrabble-like game you can play on your phone that brings out the competitor in you? Well, I was never great at it, but I did play it. What in the world does that have to do with the topic at hand? Well, remember the guy from 2014? He loved to play Words With Friends. He was great at it (of course), and even though we had parted ways, we were Words With Friends opponents. Every now and then, he would send a chat message. Because my heart was hurting, I would roll my eyes and say, “Why won’t this guy just leave me alone?” But in an effort to be kind, I would answer and take my next turn. As it happened, in the summer of 2015, this guy found himself going through a difficult time. He reached out to me during a game of Words With Friends, and I could tell he was hurting. I offered some encouragement and some advice. in my mind, I hadn’t done anything big. For him, it was a turning point. He started to open his heart and mind to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, our differences were something we could work through.

In August 2015, we went to Hocking Hills together. We took in the beauty of our surroundings and let ourselves get reacquainted. We had dinner. We enjoyed each other’s company – so much so that we continued to find opportunities to spend time together. October 29, 2015, he asked me if we could make our relationship official, and I agreed. We spent most of our Saturdays together after that. 

On April 16, 2016, I was supposed to drive to Columbus, meet up with him, and then drive to Lake Hope to hike with my sister and Jeff (her husband). I had a terrible morning. I wasn’t happy with any outfit I put on. I felt ugly, and I was grumpy. I was keenly aware of every insecurity, and I didn’t even want to go. I ended up being  about 30 minutes late, and when I arrived at the park where we were supposed to meet, I was not at my best. We walked anyway – took one of our favorite trails and headed toward the familiar pavilion where we had been many times before. As we entered, that guy dropped to one knee, took out a beautiful emerald ring (he had taken the time and effort to find out that was what I wanted most), and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I was so surprised. I hadn’t seen it coming on that day. Not at all. I think I said, “I’ve never been engaged before.” Romantic, right? What a moment. Even when I wasn’t being very lovable, I was loved.

On September 3, 2016, I married that sweet guy. He is a gift from God to me, a tangible reminder of God’s faithfulness, His wisdom, and His amazing love. Every hurt and every moment of waiting was worth it. God knew the plans He had for me. He is trustworthy. Our story is one of how God can take two imperfect people who have gotten lots of things wrong, bring them together, help them to work through their differences, and use them together in spite of their flaws. God is a Redeemer. 

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NLT)

This Valentine’s Day, I celebrate love. Yes, I celebrate the love Aaron and I share, but most importantly, I celebrate God’s love for all of us. He is busy working out His plans in our lives, and while they may not be what we think they should be, He can be trusted to do all things perfectly well. Even when we can’t understand or see what He is doing, He is arranging the details of our lives for our good and for His glory. His love for us is perfect and it never fails. His is a love worth celebrating.

“When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources, He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him.

Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, Who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:14-21, NLT)

Father, I’m so grateful for Your love. Your amazing love. It really is beyond our ability to understand how even when we are at our worst, you never stop loving us. Thank you that You know the plans You have for us. Help us to know with all confidence that You can be trusted to work out the details of our lives perfectly and in such a way as to bring You glory. When we stop and look back over our lives, we can see Your hand at work. Help us to have the grace to trust You more. Amen.

-Dana

Some people go bowling on Friday nights. Some go to the movies. Some just hang out at home. And some pay to have themselves locked in a room, where they work out the solutions to mind-bending puzzles that will allow them to escape, winning nothing but their freedom and bragging rights. I found myself in this latter group a few weeks ago.

I so wanted to see the “escape room” concept as some kind of an analogy to life, but I kept coming up empty. It wasn’t until two days later, as I heard Pastor David speaking to the youth group about Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, explaining how our lives should “line up” with Jesus’ message that the light bulb went on…

In our pirate-themed escape room, we were trying to find the hidden treasure. One of the boxes we unlocked had a sword in it, and later, we unlocked another box that fit the description of where the sword should be placed. It had to be oriented just right, and when it was, a basket with another clue dropped from the ceiling.

So, I had a picture of being “lined up.” When the sword was lined up the way it was supposed to be, it brought us what we needed. When our lives are lined up the way God has designed, it opens up a door for what we need, His blessing and His presence. Let’s think about that some more…

First of all, there is the big change, the big lining up with God through Jesus. We can’t get there on our own, but Jesus has made it possible for us to get right with God. That changes everything, including us.

“Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.” Romans 5:1-2 NLT

“Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.” Titus 3:7 NLT

This “making right” is called justification in other translations of the Bible. It is what Jesus accomplished for us by His death. He made it possible for us to “line up” with God, something we were incapable of doing without Him because of our sin. These verses list just a few of the good things that happen when we line up with God through Jesus: we have peace with God, we are able to share God’s glory, we are confident that we will inherit eternal life.

That sword we had in the escape room had to be in just the right position to allow us to reach the clue. The thing about us, is that once we get on the path, right with God and following Jesus, it is so easy to stray, to get turned around a bit, and to lose that orientation. We are often in need of turning, turning back to where we need to be, where we can see Jesus.

A famous hymn says, “Lord, my heart is prone to wander, prone to leave the God I love.”

Peter described this by quoting a sheep analogy from the writings of the prophet Isaiah. “For ‘you were like sheep going astray,’ but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” I Peter 2:25 NIV

And read these words penned by the prophet Isaiah, and later quoted by Jesus and then by Paul,
“He said, ‘Go and tell this people: Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving. Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.’ ” Isaiah 6:10 and see Matthew 13:15, Acts 28:27

May we be the opposite of that description! May we hear and understand, see and perceive, with a soft hearts, open ears and open eyes. May we see and hear and understand and TURN and be healed.

“Let me hear what God the Lord will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his faithful, to those who turn to him in their hearts.” Psalm 85:8

There is a turning back, looking at Jesus, listening to God, getting back in line with Him that happens over and over in our lives. When that happens, God speaks peace to us. It opens the door to His presence and His blessing. It brings light to our dark places.

This is a heart event, but it starts with an internal movement of our thoughts. We make a conscious decision to direct our thoughts, our focus to Jesus. We regain eternal perspective and choose to let go of things that keep us from connecting with God. The more often we spend time with God, the more easily we realize we are in need of turning, and the more willing we will be to turn. This is why meeting together for worship and regularly spending time reading God’s Word and praying is so vital. It helps keep us where we need to be or encourages us to reach out and let Jesus bring us back to where we need to be.

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.” Psalm 34:5 ESV

When you wonder where the answers are, when you feel like things are dark. when you feel frustrated and non-radiant, look to Jesus. Line back up so you can see Him. Turn your heart. Just like that first big lining up, it will change everything, including you.

God, we need You. We were designed to look to You. Help us to have open eyes, hearing ears, soft and understanding hearts. Help us to turn to You. We need You to provide for us, to set us free, to give us peace and to make us shine. Point us to Jesus, we pray. Amen.

“Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2 NLT

-Leah

 

Tragedy. Grieving. Right now, in my world, they feel almost tangible.

Last Friday morning, on her way to work, Angie, a 39-year-old mother of four boys, lost her life in a car accident. In an instant so many lives were stopped in their tracks, worlds turned upside down, hearts broken. We live in communities of large families and tight connections, so this tragedy really did seem to touch everyone. We ourselves are shocked and grieving, and our hearts break even more as we feel the grief of her husband and boys, her siblings and parents, her close friends. Her funeral is today.

Today, January 17th, also marks two years since Owen Weaver passed away. Did you know Owen? Our “small town superhero”? Contagious smile and real joy despite physical handicaps. It has been two years, but the grief is still very present. Especially for his family, forever changed by his presence and every day feeling his absence.

It doesn’t take much looking around to find difficulty and heartache. We have it in our own circles: devastating illnesses, ongoing fights against addiction, and all sorts of troubles of varying degrees, but all with their own kinds of pain. These things are hard! Hard for us to deal with in our own lives, and hard as we try to comfort others. So many times we don’t know how to act or what to say, especially in the face of great tragedy and sorrow like Angie’s family and the Weaver family are experiencing. We want to communicate our care, but we are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, of somehow making the pain worse.

I am not an expert at any of this, but I have learned that it is better to acknowledge the pain in others than to ignore it because of our fear of messing up. Often it is as simple as following Paul’s advice from Romans 12:15, “…weep with those who weep.”

Today I weep with those who are weeping for Angie and her family. I weep with those who are so deeply missing Owen, especially his family.

And as I weep, I look to Jesus for comfort. The Bible tells us that He wept (John 11:35). He wept over the death of His friend, Lazarus.

Read the story…
“On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days.
Now Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother.
When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
‘Lord,’ Martha said to Jesus, ‘if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.’
Jesus said to her, ‘Your brother will rise again.’
Martha answered, ‘I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.’
Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die, and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?’
‘Yes, Lord,’ she replied, ‘I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.’
After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. ‘The Teacher is here,’ she said, ‘and is asking for you.’
When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him.
Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him.
When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.’
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.
‘Where have you laid him?’ he asked.
‘Come and see, Lord,’ they replied.
Jesus wept.”
John 11:17-35

My sister pointed out to me a few months ago, that Mary, the one who had loved sitting at Jesus’ feet, stayed home instead of going out to meet him like her sister. Martha went to him, but Mary stayed home. In our grief, we have different reactions. Some of us are quick to go to Jesus, ready to be with Him, even though we don’t understand why He didn’t do what we know He could have done to fix things and prevent all this pain we are feeling. Some of us stay home. In our grief and suffering, we just can’t go there. Look what Jesus did. He called for Mary. Martha told her, “The Teacher is here, and is asking for you.”

Jesus promised His disciples later in the book of John, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.” (John 14:18 KJV)

Psalm 34 tells us, “The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 CSB)

Real hope, real comfort, real healing is found in Jesus. It’s OK to ask why-Martha did. Mary did. Even Jesus did. “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46 CSB) We are told he cried this out with a loud voice.

Death hurts. Pain can be blinding and stop us in our tracks. We don’t understand, and we often feel betrayed and angry.

Right in the middle of all that, the Lord is near, and He is calling. He feels our pain, like He felt Mary and Martha’s pain. He weeps. He comforts. And one more thing, He promises glory if we will just believe.

After He wept with Martha and Mary, we know that He called Lazarus back to life. He is the resurrection and the life. He said to Martha in John 11:40, “Did not I tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” Yes, Jesus raising Lazarus from death was glory. We don’t get that same miraculous, right now happy ending in many of our losses, but, if we believe, we will see glory. It might take a long time to get there, but it will be worth it.

When tragedy strikes, when life hurts, go to Jesus, let Him be near. Bring your questions. Believe.

God, we hurt. We weep. We need You to be near with Your comfort. Please help us in our grief to hear you calling us out of our house. You want to weep with us and speak to us and show us Your glory. I pray that You would be present in a beautiful and powerful way with those who are today experiencing such heavy grief. I pray that You would show us how to care for them. We cry out with the praying father in Mark 9:24, “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!'” We believe. Help our unbelief. Our prayers are in Jesus’ precious name. Amen.

-Leah

Imperfect parents. We all have them. No one has parents who have gotten everything perfectly right. Why is it that we tend to fixate on the imperfections instead of choosing to be grateful for the abundance of things that they did get right? Perhaps the greatest place of influence in most of our lives belongs to the two people who invested their time and energy into raising us. 

As I have pondered this, I realize that who I am today is a direct result of the character and influence of the two people in that picture – Dave and Judy Garrison, my parents. Their values, their traits, their quirks are all part of me. Some of the greatest gifts in my life are things that I learned from them. I’d love to take this opportunity to share a few of those things with you.

My Dad

Oh, how I love this guy. I have been a daddy’s girl since I can remember. If I can be even a little bit like him, that makes my heart happy. He is courageous, kind, and quietly strong. Here are some of the lessons I have learned from my dad –

Be faithful to your family. I never doubted that my dad loves my sister and me. I never doubted that he loves my mom. He has been present, and he has been faithful to our family. When we were growing up, he worked hard, but he also made time for us. As I’ve gotten older and gained some life experience, I realize that this is a priceless gift that not everyone receives. I’m thankful for this example.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25)

Trust God, and persevere. My dad has been through a lot. He came from a broken home, he was diagnosed with leukemia in his 40’s, he had a high-risk bone marrow transplant, he has ongoing issues with his lungs, he had open heart surgery two days in a row, and he struggles with neuropathy and spinal stenosis. I have never heard him use any of those things as an excuse to be bitter or angry. He perseveres and usually does so with a positive attitude. He trusts God to take care of him in a way that is inspirational to me. 

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3)

Be tactful and diplomatic. This is one of my dad’s trademarks. He is skilled at expressing his ideas in a way that is not confrontational or offensive. He listens, and he is reasonable. He is able to share his beliefs and opinions with others in a way that does not belittle them or put them off. He is a peacemaker. 

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18)

My Mom

I often tell the young ladies in our church, “No one on this earth loves you as much as your mom loves you.” Think about that. It’s true. My mom and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, but I know in my heart that no one else in this world loves me the way she does. She is my biggest fan, and there isn’t anything she wouldn’t do for me. Here are some lessons I have learned from my mom –

Laughter is the best medicine. If you’ve ever met this precious lady, you’ve surely heard one of her jokes. I can’t remember a time when she wasn’t on the hunt for a new joke to tell. It’s her way of bringing joy to others. If you laugh at one of her jokes, you’re sure to hear another one. She loves to make people laugh. I can remember one time on a vacation, my sister made a joke about someone’s zipper being afraid of heights. My mom hadn’t heard that before, and she spent hours laughing. She laughed and laughed. In our family, we all give the customary groan when she’s about to launch into a new joke, but the truth is, she has taught us all something about the value of joy and laughter.

“A joyful heart is like good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

It is better to give than to receive. My mom is a giver. If you have a need and she has a way to help meet that need, she certainly will. She gives sacrificially, and she gives without regret. Her life is marked by generosity. 

“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive'”. (Acts 20:35)

“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Good leaders are good readers. Both my sister and I are avid readers, and we owe that to my mom. From my earliest memories, she read to us and instilled in us a love for reading. Having spent 18 years in the public school system, I have gained such an appreciation for that because I have seen the struggles in learning that come from an environment that lacks this emphasis. The latest NAEP (National Assessment of Educational Progress) Reading scores indicate that only 35% of the nation’s 4th graders are able to read at a proficient level. It’s a frightening statistic. I’m grateful that I had a mom who taught me to love to read. 

My Parents

Individually, both my dad and my mom have influenced the person I am becoming. The impact they have made together also can’t be ignored. They are a team, and they have taught these lessons together –

Love God, and love others. My parents love God, and my parents love others. They taught us to love God’s Word, to love His church, and to be compassionate toward others. Yes, there are things we disagree about, but I know that their faith is genuine because of their actions. I’m thankful to have grown up with a strong foundation in the Word of God and with an understanding that true faith is accompanied by action.

“If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also, faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, ‘You have faith and I have works.’ Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.” (James 2:15-18)

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. My parents celebrated their 52nd wedding anniversary last year. I’m so grateful for their commitment to each other. It hasn’t always been easy, but they have been there for each other through the good and bad. By God’s grace, they have kept their promises to Him and to each other. 

“‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (Mark 10:7-8)

There’s always room for one more. When we were growing up, this was my parents’ motto. They opened their home to many people who lived with us, and they invested in those people. They understand that what they have isn’t their own, and they have always been willing to share. 

“‘Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.'” (Luke 6:38)

These are my parents. I’m so glad that God chose them for that task. I wish I could say that I have always honored them the way I should, but that wouldn’t be true. I also wish I could say that I’ve always been a pleasure to have as a daughter, but that wouldn’t be true either. What I can say is that I love them so much. I love them in spite of their imperfections, and I’m learning that they always did what they thought was best, even if they didn’t always get it right. 

Mom and Dad, thank you for these lessons you’ve taught me. Thank you for loving me completely even when I wasn’t very lovable. Thank you for the sacrifices you made, for the time you invested, for the truths you’ve modeled. Thank you for loving God and loving others well. I am so honored to be your daughter.

Dear Father, thank You for my parents. Thank You that You chose them as part of Your perfect plan to be the ones to raise me. Forgive me for spending too much time pondering the things that I think they should have done differently and for not always choosing to see the things they did so well. Forgive me also for not always being the daughter that I should be. My heart is so thankful for these parents of mine who love You and who love others. May their influence in my life produce good fruit, and may I keep learning from their example. Amen.

-Dana