Author: dejaffee

The Best is Yet to Come

There have been some big endings in my life lately.  Not all endings are unwelcome – think end of the school year, for example 🙂 – but they all mean change.  The more difficult endings can range from bittersweet to agonizing – from ending a job you have enjoyed to dealing with the death of your spouse. 

The same day I celebrated the ending of my oldest son’s first year of college, I was processing the end of my husband’s and good friend’s medical practice and reminiscing about all the water that has gone under that bridge.  Over the last few weeks I have also been walking beside a dear friend as she lives the last days of her life.  So many emotions!

Could I share with you some of the encouragement that has kept me steady during these days?

I loved Cati’s response to this text I sent her, “It’s kind of sad also because of all the goodbyes and just knowing things aren’t the way they used to be.”  She sent back, “Yea, it is sad.  But we were all lucky to have had the experience with each other.  It was definitely a positive influence for me.”  What a great perspective!  Gratitude for what we have gained instead of grieving what we feel we have lost.  It seems like that should be obvious, right?  But I needed that reminder.

Realize that every ending is also a beginning.  As we were drinking coffee on her porch, Katelyn shared, “I feel like I have been through so many endings and beginnings over the past few years…”  Even endings that seem final, like death, are the beginning of something new.  There aren’t endings without beginnings.  My friend, Lynda, told me how much this quote from author Lysa Terkeurst had helped her as she was managing the emotions of several endings: “It is possible for a season of sorrow and a season of celebration to coexist.” 

In fact, this was exactly what the priest said at a funeral I attended last week.  He spoke of “… the end of the present age and the beginning of what is coming.”  Because of our faith, we have confidence that what is coming is good.

Advice on dealing with suffering from the book You Can Trust God to Write Your Story:

“So first, look up.  Be strengthened by a vision of God’s Providence and purposes. 

And then … look ahead.  Find hope by holding fast to His promises.”  Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth then went on to tell the story of Andrea Smith, a perfectly healthy mother of 4 young girls who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  She had a tumor in her chest surrounding her heart and a tumor in her liver.  Her journey included 9 months of treatment – 600 hours of chemo, 4 spinal infusions to get chemo to her brain, a major surgery, and 24 rounds of radiation.  Her husband sent out email updates to friends and family, and regardless of the news he was sharing, he ended each with “The best is yet to come.”  As believers in Jesus, that is always true for us – the best is yet to come!

No matter what endings we face, no matter the grieving and sorrow that interlaces our gratitude and celebration, we have the promise that God is making all things new.

“I am the Lord, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King.

Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters,

Who brings out chariot and horse, army and warrior; they lie down, they cannot rise, they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:

Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old.

I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the desert. 

The wild animals will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches; for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people,

The people whom I formed for myself so that they might declare my praise.”  Isaiah 43:15-21

John writes in Revelation 21:1-5,

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.

And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘See, the home of God is among mortals.  He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them;

He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.’

And the one who was seated on the throne said, ‘See, I am making all things new.’  Also he said, ‘Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.’ “

Sing with me…

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, all fear is gone

Because I know He holds the future

Life is worth the living just because He lives

God, thanks that You do not leave us alone in our endings or in our beginnings.  Thanks that You are writing our stories.  Fill us with gratitude and joy and hope.

-Leah

Lessons from NYC, Part 2

Lessons from NYC part 2

Last summer the Ebenezer youth group spent a week in New York City. A team of 30 went to the Big Apple to serve and connect with each other and with people who could loosely be considered from another culture. I was privileged to be on this team. Here are a few more of the lessons learned..

 We aren’t any different from them

I heard it from several of the teenagers, sharing at debriefing sessions during our New York City evenings.  Wes told of his surprise to find he could easily identify with the homeless people he met.  Different life experiences to be sure, but at the root, just people, made in God’s image, imperfect but longing for perfection.  No matter where we live, we are all homeless unless we accept the invitation into God’s home and His family.  Reese explained his initial thoughts about going to New York City to give some gifts and some love to people on the streets:  “I didn’t want to go.  I had no desire to do that, but I felt like I should, so I went.”  Reese was not alone in his discovery that he could and did benefit from the going and the giving.  He encountered people with names and stories, people who feel left out and forgotten. 

We all need Jesus. 

“All we like sheep have gone astray…

“For all have sinned…

“There is no Jew or Greek, slave or free…

Yes, homelessness is a problem.  But more than that, homelessness is people.  People like me.  People like Wes and Reese.  People who need rescue from addiction and mental illness and other circumstances.  People who need Jesus. 

The voice of experience

It happened more than once during the week.  Homeless people in the park, giving advice to the young people from Ohio.  Honestly, it was unexpected.  We often didn’t know what we should expect when we approached people on park benches and offered a bag filled with hygiene products, granola bars, and a Life Book.  We were afraid of being offensive, of overstepping or assuming.  We wanted to help, but weren’t sure how to communicate that desire effectively.  And over and over again, we found the tables turned.  We went from helping to being helped.  Addicts and former addicts counseled our kids on the importance of steering clear of drugs.  This message carried a bit more punch coming from someone who feels the effects of addiction day after day after day.  The images are likely to remain imprinted on those youth – they saw the shooting up and the syringes, and they heard the advice from the addicted. 

Lisa, a woman who had assumed a mother role in the homeless community in Tompkins Square Park, comforted one of our young ladies.  “Don’t cry.  We want you to know what’s going on here.  We want you to go home and tell other people and send other people to help.”

There is no doubt that kids who were on the New York service trip will find themselves faced with opportunities for drug use.  I believe they will recall the sights of the faces and the sounds of the voices of people who regret having traveled that road.  May each one of them ‘just say no,” and may they encourage their friends to do the same.

Community matters

It stinks to be homeless.  Literally.  But what’s worse than being homeless?  Being homeless and alone.  Not only did we take the time to sit and speak with men and women who were sitting on a bench alone, but also we got a look into homelessness in community.  Tompkins Square Park had an area where there was a camp of sorts.  People had staked off their own spaces, covered with tarps or marked by some other division.  Definitely a fluid group, and certainly not without challenges, but clearly a community.

Lisa, the mother figure mentioned earlier, was the keeper of the Narcan.  She told our team that she always tried to keep several doses of Narcan on hand, and that she intervened in overdoses several times each week. 

People shared food and watched out for each other.  Like a family they realized when another of their group was frustrated or angry and needed to be left alone.  They needed each other.  

We were made for community.  We aren’t made to walk our road of life alone.  We need people that know us and are willing to reach out when we are in danger.  We need to have that sense of purpose that comes from helping others when they are in over their heads.  We live best when we live connected to people who love God and love others. 

 Not drama, trauma

When a group of high schoolers spends a week together, there inevitably will be drama.  You can count on it.  We had some drama during our New York minutes – conflict over what is funny and what isn’t, hurt feelings, and some deep emotions that surfaced.  What I learned as I observed the ups and downs of the group, is that I need to look beyond the behavior and the words to what is causing that behavior and those words.  It’s easy to write things off as “teenager drama,” and shrug your shoulders and hope it all works itself out.  When you reframe the “drama” as an expression of “trauma,” you feel compelled to reach out, give grace and show love, and allow yourself to be present in the painful and the awkward. 

This is pertinent for life even when you aren’t on a service trip with teenagers.  When you feel frustrated, annoyed, or even angry by someone’s actions or attitude, realize that there is likely some trauma at the root of what you are experiencing.  You might even reach out, give grace and show love, and allow yourself to pursue connection instead of walking away.

Taste and see

“O taste and see that the Lord is good; happy are those who take refuge in him.” 

Words written by David, Psalm 34.  Words that we heard repeated during our time in New York – maybe an apt summary of all that we took away from the trip. 

Jim Cymbala spoke specifically to our youth when we visited Brooklyn Tabernacle, encouraging them to “taste and see” what God has for them.  Not sure?  Try it – you might like it!  [The taste and see principle didn’t always have a positive outcome when speaking of actual food – ask Isaac how he liked the bowl full of snails he got in Chinatown, or Andrea what she thought of the eggplant dish she tasted and saw.]

But unlike unfamiliar food, when you “taste” Jesus, you will find that He is good. 

One of our groups heard this again when leaving the food pantry where they had served for a week.  One of the workers followed them out and stood at the door, giving them a blessing and telling them to “taste and see” that God is good. 

How about you?  Have you tasted the “Bread of Life”?  You should.  You won’t be disappointed – I’m sure of it.  And if you have tasted already, keep on tasting and tasting.  You will be happy as you take refuge in Him. 

God, thank You for the amazing opportunity to serve You in New York City, with adults and young people who encouraged and inspired me.  Thanks for teaching us so much.  Help us to remember what we experienced and what we learned.  Use it to make us more like Jesus.  You are good!

-Leah

Sleepless

I’ve always been a good sleeper. So much so, that my husband sometimes teases me about it. He’ll say things like, “If sleeping were an Olympic sport, you’d win a gold medal.” Or, “If sleeping were a spiritual gift, you’d definitely have that one.” It’s a blessing, really. I fall asleep easily at night, and I stay asleep through the night.

I also really need good sleep. When I don’t sleep, mole hills become mountains, and I have a difficult time keeping my emotions in check.

You may notice that you haven’t heard a lot from me in a while. The reason for that is that Aaron and I became the foster parents to two beautiful little girls on June 23rd. They are 5 years-old and 2 years-old, and I wish I could share pictures of them with you (we are not allowed to do that because of privacy guidelines). Our 5 year-old is autistic and nonverbal. As you can imagine, these little girls are keeping these 40-something foster parents BUSY!

One of the unfortunate symptoms of ASD is sleeplessness. It is not uncommon for little A to sleep 3-4 hours and then be wide awake for the rest of the night. On our worst night, she fell asleep at 9:30 and was awake at 11:30. When you pair her sleeplessness with my need for sleep, it can be a bad combination. As my sister has said, “It’s not sustainable.”

It’s in the light of that part of my journey that I happened upon Psalm 121 today –


“I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
    he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in
    from this time forth and forevermore.”

“He who keeps you will not slumber.” Isn’t that a beautiful promise? The whole chapter is a gem, but as I pondered those words in particular, it brought a smile to my heart.

God doesn’t need sleep. There’s never a moment when He takes a rest from keeping us. And His sleeplessness doesn’t make him irritable. It reminds me of the words to a children’s song I’ve heard –

“Even though the Good Shepherd counts sheep, He never sleeps…”

Right this moment, He is keeping us. He is our keeper. He will keep us from all evil; He will keep our lives. He will keep our going out and our coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

I hope these words bring as much comfort to your heart today as they did to mine. I’m so glad our Heavenly Father is always awake. And in the same way that I know my little A needs rest for her body, He knows that our souls need rest. We can rest our souls in Him because He is always keeping us.

Dear Father, thank You that You always keep us. We are so safe in Your hands. You neve take a break – there’s never a moment when You’re not watching over us. Please give us rest for our souls today as we meditate on Your promises. Amen.

-Dana

In His Hands

On June 23rd, two little girls joined our family – a 2 year old (she turned 2 the day after she came) and a 5 year-old with nonverbal autism. Not only were we pretty unprepared for a toddler in the house, but neither of us has had much experience with autistic children. Needless to say, we have been learning a lot!

We are settling in and adjusting to a new normal that includes sippy cups, diapers, weighted blankets, and frequent trips to the playground. Free time has become non-existent. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been so worth it.

Part of my new daily routine during the week is driving these two beauties to day care. They both love music, and we have been enjoying some well-known Sunday School tunes on the drive. Last week as we were driving, a familiar children’s song came on. You might know it –

He’s got the whole world in His hands,

He’s got the whole world in his hands.

He’s got the whole wide world in his hands.

He’s got the whole world in his hands.

As the song played, I was struck by the simplicity and truth of the lyrics. I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to overcomplicate things sometimes, and sometimes it’s good to just ponder something as simple as those precious words. He’s got the whole world in His hands.

Things aren’t spinning out of control. We are held in His hands. Elisabeth Elliott said it like this –

“We are not adrift in chaos. To me that is the most fortifying, the most stabilizing, the most peace-giving thing that I know about anything in the universe. Every time that things have seemingly fallen apart in my life, I have gone back to those things that do not change. Nothing in the universe can ever change those facts. He loves me. I am not at the mercy of chance.”

He loves us, and we are not at the mercy of chance. He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands. He’s got you and me, sister (brother), in His hands. He’s got the whole world in His hands.

Father, thank You for simple truths. Thank You that You are in control. When we feel stressed or anxious, please help us to remember that You are holding us. Amen.