A couple of weeks ago, we got our little guy a kite. He was SO excited! Aaron put it together, and right away we were making attempt after attempt to get it to fly. In our eagerness to get the kite in the air, we had forgotten something pretty important. Kites need wind to fly. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough wind on that day. No matter how much we tried (and boy, did we ever try), the kite wouldn’t fly.
Our little friend was expecting one thing, but instead was faced with a disappointment. The disappointment then caused discontentment, which caused pouting, which caused grumbling. Everything was bad. In spite of all the other toys and games he had and all the other fun things he could do, he fixated on the one thing that wasn’t working out.
I have to admit, his grumbling made me a little frustrated. Why couldn’t he see past the flightless kite to all the other opportunities for fun that were all around him? Why, all of a sudden, wasn’t anything good enough? Why couldn’t he just leave the kite flying for another time and move on?
As I was feeling this frustration, I walked into my kitchen and stopped. I looked around at my beautiful kitchen and then had a realization. It had been a rough day at work. I had some challenging situations come up, an unexpected schedule change, and way more work to do than time to get it done. And as I walked into that kitchen, I realized that I had been doing the very same thing that my little friend had been doing.
I had chosen to focus on all the things that hadn’t gone right instead of focusing on all that I already have. When I walked into that kitchen, it was like a light came on. I was able to see my massive kitchen and remember that it is just one of the many incredible blessings God has given me.
All of a sudden, I was able to see that on the inside, I too had been grumbling and pouting and harboring discontentment. When my grown-up kite (in this case, my work-related activities) wouldn’t fly, I hadn’t handled it well either.
When our kites won’t fly, we have two choices. We can choose to be thankful for all that we do have, or we can choose to focus on the things we don’t have or the things that aren’t going the way we want them to.
It reminded me of something Aaron and I had read earlier that same week in Exodus 16. In the first twelve verse of that chapter, the words ‘grumbling’ or ‘grumbled’ are used eight times to refer to the response of the children of Israel to their plight in the wilderness.
If you read the two chapters before Exodus 16, you will see that God had just delivered the children of Israel from their slavery in Egypt with unprecedented signs and wonders, the last of which was the parting of the Red Sea. Then, shortly after that, when they got hungry in the wilderness, they grumbled. They never asked God to provide for them, and they had lost their gratitude for what He had already done.
What I realized that day in my kitchen was that grumbling shows up some ugly things in my heart, like ingratitude, lack of trust, and selfishness. When I’m grumbling, I’m not remembering how God has proven His faithfulness to me over and over again. I’m choosing to put all of my attention on the wrong things.
The Apostle Paul had something to say about this in his letter to the Philippians –
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.” (Philippians 2:14-16, ESV)
Do all things without grumbling. Why? So that you may be blameless, innocent, children of God without blemish, and shining lights in the world.
In the Old Testament, we find the account of a prophet who had much greater problems than a kite that wouldn’t fly. Habakkuk saw the destruction that was coming to his people, and it grieved him. Faced with a choice between grumbling and gratitude, here’s what Habakkuk said –
“Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer’s;
he makes me tread on my high places.” (Habakkuk 3:17-19, ESV)
He made the right choice. “Yet I will rejoice…”
So, I find myself in this place again this week. On Monday, our little guy moved to another home because of a court decision that none of us were party to. My heart is still breaking, and my kite won’t fly. I have a choice to make. Do I focus on my quiet house, the wish of my heart to hold that little hand while he falls asleep just one more time, the questions and doubts that try to bombard my mind, and the pain of loss? Or do I focus on being grateful for the time we had, for all the good gifts God has given, and for the assurance that He is still in control and working out His plans?
Choosing gratitude over grumbling is a moment by moment decision, and I wish I could tell you I’m passing this test with flying colors. What I can say is that I’m learning more of what it means to depend on God, and I am making progress. When the kite won’t fly, I want my heart to respond more and more like Habakkuk and less and less like the children of Israel.
Father, You know our hearts and how often we default to grumbling when things don’t go the way we want them to go. Please forgive us when we focus on the things we don’t have or the things that aren’t going right instead of remembering Your faithfulness to us and all that You have done for us. Help us to trust You more even when we don’t understand all that You allow. Please be with anyone (including me) reading this who might have a kite that won’t fly right now. Give us the grace we need to choose to rejoice in You anyway because You are always good. Amen.
Two Sisters. One Amazing Savior. 