Listen up!

One of the life lessons mothers teach their children is not to interrupt.  It is difficult for kids to learn – they have things that need to be said!  They can’t contain their enthusiasm, or they need something now.  They don’t notice that other people are talking, or they haven’t yet learned to care.  

This is something I have tried to teach my sons, but lately I have been unpleasantly surprised to catch myself interrupting!  Shocking, right?  Or maybe not.  I think for me it is not that I cut people off the way a child does, but that I jump in when they take a breath but before they are completely done with what they are saying.  Sometimes I find myself finishing people’s sentences for them.  This is not how I want to communicate.  Even though I don’t intend it to be, it is rude.  

What causes me to interrupt?   How can I improve my listening skills?  

This advice is from James’ letter: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)

Let’s look a little closer…

He addresses his audience as “My dear brothers and sisters.”  He is communicating value and care.  Practicing good listening is another way to let people know that they are important to you.  And it does take practicing, it’s definitely not a skill we are born with.

“Take note of this.”  Pay attention.  Listen up.  Paying attention implies cost.  Listening will cost us – we will have to let go of the hurry to share our opinion.  We might even lose the chance to put our two cents in.  We have to believe that the speaker is saying something we need to hear.  

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak…”  Everyone, myself included.  Listening should be my default and speaking on the back burner.  

In case we need convincing, here are a few verses from Proverbs that confirm the value of listening and of not talking too much.

Proverbs 1:5  “let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance…”

Proverbs 10:19  “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.”

Listening carefully and not monopolizing a conversation requires humility.  Like the humility Paul describes in Philippians 2:3-4.  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.”

Proverbs 26:12  “Do you see a person wise in their own eyes?  There is more hope for a fool than for them.”

Being heard is one of the basic needs of human beings.  Becoming like Jesus means becoming humble enough to put in the effort to listen well and in that way to help people know that they matter.  To follow up on last week’s post from Dana Jaffee, it is a way of giving love.  

Ready, Set, Love!

Ready, set, LISTEN!

God, thanks that You have given us the perfect example of humility in Jesus. Thanks that You promise to listen to us whenever we speak to You. Teach us to listen well to the people in our lives. May Your love flow through us.

-Leah